forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
