i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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