Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
