Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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