he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
