When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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