All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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