I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
