Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize