Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
