thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
