don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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