Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
