my phone needs a breathalizer
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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