I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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