god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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