he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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