my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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