if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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