just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
