I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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