she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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