Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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