Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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