Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
