You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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