do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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