i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
