Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
