my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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