She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it glows. i had to have it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
