his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
