dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?