Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics