he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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