I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
operation harelip BJ is a go
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!