how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
