How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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