no, he came in my armpit
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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