i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week