Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
