There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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