I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
wow bdsm is so cute
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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