I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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