I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
