Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize