I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
