I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
