if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize