i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
