I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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