If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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