yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
