her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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