I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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