Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry scuba314 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

I pooped in a mop bucket.

(1-512): View more from Texas

WTF???

(512): View more from Texas

Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

Fav 12 1406 978
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

Fav 18 3094 1153
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

Fav 41 13009 2003
share tweet
(210): View more from Texas

I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano

Fav 23 1408 6599
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

Fav 22 5597 1469
share tweet
(606): View more from Kentucky

Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.

Fav 8 893 2532
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.

Fav 9 2435 1320
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night

Fav 0 588 493
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

My vagina! What have you done to it?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Blessed it my child.

Fav 0 93 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT