we have pet lesbian snakes
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
