Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
