Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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