2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Its about making memories worth repressing
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
