You're so nebulous sometimes
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize