people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
