who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
