The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
