Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
