brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize