I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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