he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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