You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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