He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
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I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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